While her predecessors ran for president, founded charities, and wrote books, Melania was never going to waste her talent on such trivial pursuits. Instead, she’s combined her business acumen, tech wizardry, and philanthropy into the perfect project: an NFT venture. The model, designer, entrepreneur, and humanitarian is selling a series of tokens on her own NFT platform, which is powered by the MAGA hellsite Parler. The first NFT, “Melania’s Vision,” a stunning watercolor of her cobalt blue eyes, can be yours for around just $150. Not only will you acquire her perfect pixels — you’ll also get an audio “message of hope” from the great woman herself. The auction ends on December 31 and is sure to sell out quickly, so I’d advise buying immediately.
— MELANIA TRUMP (@MELANIATRUMP) December 16, 2021 I must admit that the announcement caught me by surprise. I never expected such an honorable woman to enter the NFT game. I’m ashamed to admit this now, but I used to think that non-fungible tokens were a scam. I didn’t understand why someone would spend a fortune on some crappy artwork that harms the planet when they could just download it for free. Mrs Trump has exposed my ignorance. I understand it now: saving a picture of Melania’s cold, dead eyes isn’t remotely the same as having proof that you own it. But it wasn’t just her gorgeous pixels that showed me the light. I previously suspected that NFT sellers were all grifters — but that can’t be the case if Melania is one of them. If you need any further evidence of her benevolence, note that the Slovene-American is giving the proceeds to charity. Well, a portion of them anyway. Those private jets, Manhattan apartments, personal hairstylists, and haute-couture gowns don’t pay for themselves. The communists and lamestream media will say that she should have given away all the cash. They should consider themselves lucky. The ingrates have been given the chance to grab a masterpiece, make a charitable donation — and send Melania more money. If the right-clickers don’t get it now, they never will.
